I am in love with my life. Even when it's a big, beautiful mess. Maybe especially when it's a big beautiful mess.
We packed a lot into the last couple of days. There was bookshelf shopping, nest fluffing, baking, singing, family, friends, laughter and tears. Sometimes there was even laughing through the tears. What else could you possibly want in life?
There was wedding talk, preparing to say good bye to a beloved cat, lunch in another state with long lost relatives and unexpected guests walking through the back gate on Sunday evening, complete with beer and wine in their bag.
I am, by nature, a planner. I love my calendar, order, to do lists and schedules. I am slowly discovering how good it is for me to let go of the plan and instead embrace the now, the possibilities and the spontaneity. When I take my eyes off the schedule, I'm more fully able to see the beauty in what is going on around me, more able to embrace the everyday moments that make up my life- the feel of his hand on my leg in the car after he has been gone all week on business, the heartache in my big girl's eyes as she sits with her beloved cat of almost 18 years in her lap, knowing these moments with him are fleeting. the sound of my little girl singing the soundtrack from Wicked at the top of her lungs in her room, the joy of welcoming good friends into my home even though I have a stain on my shirt, no makeup on, dinner dishes on the counter and home that looks decidedly lived in.
This weekend was well lived and I wish I could commit every messy detail to memory.
I am in love with my life. It's not perfect. But I am still in love with it. I am as happy and thankful as I have ever been. Through the joy, and the grief.
We packed a lot into the last couple of days. There was bookshelf shopping, nest fluffing, baking, singing, family, friends, laughter and tears. Sometimes there was even laughing through the tears. What else could you possibly want in life?
There was wedding talk, preparing to say good bye to a beloved cat, lunch in another state with long lost relatives and unexpected guests walking through the back gate on Sunday evening, complete with beer and wine in their bag.
I am, by nature, a planner. I love my calendar, order, to do lists and schedules. I am slowly discovering how good it is for me to let go of the plan and instead embrace the now, the possibilities and the spontaneity. When I take my eyes off the schedule, I'm more fully able to see the beauty in what is going on around me, more able to embrace the everyday moments that make up my life- the feel of his hand on my leg in the car after he has been gone all week on business, the heartache in my big girl's eyes as she sits with her beloved cat of almost 18 years in her lap, knowing these moments with him are fleeting. the sound of my little girl singing the soundtrack from Wicked at the top of her lungs in her room, the joy of welcoming good friends into my home even though I have a stain on my shirt, no makeup on, dinner dishes on the counter and home that looks decidedly lived in.
This weekend was well lived and I wish I could commit every messy detail to memory.
I am in love with my life. It's not perfect. But I am still in love with it. I am as happy and thankful as I have ever been. Through the joy, and the grief.
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