Now we're in Europe, now we're in Asia

Yesterday can be summed up in one word: long. I would also like to preface this by saying that I had told Dotty that I was wary of a tour that involved flying to and from a place within the same day. We had a 4am wake up call and we were picked up at the hotel at 4:45 and driven to the airport in the wild wind and rain. We flew Pegasus airlines which had kids starring in their safety videos. After a 1 hour flight, we arrived in Izmir and met our guide. Suddenly we were in Asia minor! I'd love to tell you her name but all I could decipher was that it started with a Z. We hopped in a van and took off for the Virgin Mary's house. It was underwhelming. I imagined that she lived in a cave but this was a little house (rebuilt, of course, only the very bottom bricks of the structure were original). Back in the 1770s, a German lady had visions which supposedly lead people to this spot where they found the base of the house. I'd call that a tale to take with a grain of salt. I've always felt that people who have visions don't tend to be the most reliable.

From Mary's house, we drove to the ancient city of Ephesus. Number of times Dotty and Carol remarked how green the landscape was: 64. Ephesus was quite the site as it was spread over a large area and that area is only 10% of the original city. A special sight there was the Celcius Library, the second oldest in the world. Highlights of the tour included seeing toilets, a huge amphitheater, ancient graffiti, and the remains of some houses that were so big, they even had basilicas in them. It was cold and cloudy, but I found that very preferable to sun and heat in that kind of spot. Number of times Dotty and Mrs. Carol announced that they'd never be warm again: 73.

From Ephesus, we went to the Temple of Artemis. Or perhaps I should say the column of Artemis. That's right friends, all that remained was a column. But what a column it was! Our last stop before lunch was to an archaeology museum where we got to see a miniature reconstruction of the temple, amongst other things. A highlight at the museum was spotting what looked like a little anicent gnome on a marble relief. I did pull a boner, though. There was a little man next to Mrs. Carol who was video taping every display in the room l and I couldn't help but laugh. He was perfectly formed but just very tiny. Not "little person" tiny but he was about 2/3 of Mrs. Carol's height. Our guide saw me laughing, because of course I couldn't stop once I had started, and said "We have all kinds of people in Turkey!" I think she meant to join in my personal revelry but I felt like an eejit! Turkey '11 Boner Count: 2

After we had our fill of the ancient world, we hopped back in the van and headed to a seaside town called Kusidasi. We had lunch at a restaurant overlooking the Aegean sea. Dotty went a little overboard on the mezes and at one point had yogurt, beets, hummus, and some kind of chili spread atop a piece of bread. It looked like a technicolor dream meze. For our main course, we enjoyed sea bass followed by some fruit and traditional Ottoman desserts. Dotty went a little overboard on the figs and pumpkin. Our guide ate with us and we regaled her with stories of American TV. Dotty brought up the Duggars which Mrs. Carol thought was pretty shun. Somehow the Amish came up as well. Dotty shared a story about how a family of Amish were washed away in a river recently which really warmed the mood that the cold, gray day. As we tried to explain the Amish, Mrs. Carol said "I think their numbers are down." I'd have to agree!

The trouble with tours is that they often try to dupe you into buying some kind of local craft and unfortunately, this tour was no different. Our guide took us to a carpet store where she told us they were going to teach us about how traditional Turkish carpets are made. They brought us into a big room where they started rolling out carpets from every direction. There must have been 25 on the floor. The carpets really were beautiful but also very expensive! Dotty almost got sucked into buying one when they told her that this is how they can keep the art form alive, but thankfully she stood her ground.

By the time our magic carpet ride ended, we still had about 5 hours before our flight back to Istanbul. Because the weather was bad and it had started snowing, our guide couldn't think of what else to show us. We had her take us back to the airport where we then waited for a very, very long wait. We stuck out like sore thumbs! Finally, our flight took off. It was bumpy but we got back to Istanbul and that's all that matters!