Who the hell am I kidding?

I don't know what I am doing.
I can't be serious, really.
I'm not a writer or an author.
No one will publish anything I write.

These are the words that are constantly in my head buffeting around, tearing me up, freakin' me out.


I don't know why.
I don't know how to get them out.

I don't know if they should come out.

Maybe if I didn't have that little voice in my head telling me that I suck I wouldn't tell it to fuck off all the time and write anyway.

I'm feeling bi-polar. Do I sound bi-polar?


Writing is so important to me but at the same time I don't think it's going to get me anywhere.


Maybe I just need a nap.


Mrs. X called me yesterday. So awesome of her to take the time. She didn't have my letter/synopsis but asked me to email it to her. I checked and rechecked my work and then emailed it out. Now we wait.


I got so over-confident that I went through my whole book and took out all the curse words and in my star struck haze I hit save.


Luckily, I had saved it to a jump drive recently so I still have the last copy before I changed it.


Idiot.