So you want a Critique? [RANT]

So you want a Critique? WARNING! Incoming Rant! A Critique...? Really? Are you sure that's what you want?  From the responses I've gotten on many different forums, and the responses I've seen others get, plus the resulting peanut gallery commentary, I'm not so sure a Critique is what some of you are actually looking for. Let's start at the beginning. Do you even know what a Critique